Bitch.  Mother Nature, not Jenna.

I might get to experience my first hurricane this weekend. 

That yellow arrow is pointing to the location of my mini vacation.  That yellow arrow is also pointing to the location of Jenna’s wedding.  See the white highlighted area out in the middle of the ocean?  Yeah, that is the location of Jenna’s honeymoon cruise.  Crap.

So um, Mother Nature… you are wickedly awesome and so very beautiful.  I am so humbled that you read my little ole blog.  Could you do me a favor?  Knock. It. Off.

Hugs and Kisses!  Megan.

Thursday came and went with only a few sporadic drops.  The same thing happened on Friday and Saturday.  All over the state, people were getting rain.  Saturday night the promised cool front was heading straight for us, but still not sizable rain.  It seemed like our town was just bypassed.

I was getting angry.  I was going to have to pull out that darn waterhose.  My family called to brag about their abunted rainfall.  How come north and south of us it was raining?

I was considering a rain dance, but I was worried was the neighbors would think of the naked woman prancing around her backyard.  (I am pretty sure rain dances are only effective when you are naked.  I don’t know why.)

Finally, as I was begging my brain to turn off at midnight last night, I heard it.  Thunder!  Then I saw it.  Lightning!  Was the rain finally coming?  Could it be true?  My brain finally shut down before I found out.

But, this morning.  Oh this glorious morning.  We finally got our rain.  Buckets and buckets of beautiful rain.  Things are already looking green.  Finally some relief from the 100+ degree temperatures. 

And then when I got to work this morning, my celebrations came to an end.  My office is leaking, again.

Water everywhere!  Notebooks ruined.  My computer, and all the electrical cords that go all with it, were sitting in an inch of water.  Hmm, I wonder if that will be a problem later?  Apparently the rain was so desperately wanted was too much for the forty year old roof.

And now I am suppose to be productive today?  Housekeeping in and out to vacuum up water, loud fans blowing, people coming by to say sorry and give me sympathetic looks, and a soaking wet to do list.  Really that is the problem.  Without my to do list I am lost.  What, make another one you say?  But you don’t understand.  My original was so pretty and organized and it already had stuff crossed off so it made me feel good. 

I will miss you to do list.  You will never know how important you truely were.

At the Girls Gone Wild party last weekend, I was crowned the Dip Queen.  I can make a mad 7 layer dip and a mean guacamole.  Add B’s salsa into the mix and we have a pretty strong arsenal of dip.

I added two new recipes into the mix recently and those two additions are what earned me my queen title.

One was a corn, black bean, avocado mixture that was awesome.  I am sure most of you have had something similar before, but this was my first time making it.  And since I couldn’t find a recipe that made it simple enough for me, I combine about five recipes together, thus making it my own.  Being lazy and not the world’s best cook paid off!

Dip #2 was what really clinched the title and I owe it to my mother.  First, let’s look at Dip #2.

Doesn’t look like anything special right?  That is why I am the Dip Queen and you are not.  It is freaking special!  So special I don’t know if I should even tell you about it.  Just kidding.  I will tell you.

You see, my parents moved out of the suburbs of Dallas a few years back to live on a ranch.  Seeing as how they are retired and lived in Dallas for the last 40 years, ranching isn’t exactly what they are doing on their ranch.  What they are doing is growing vegetables.  Knowing someone with an awesome garden is, well, awesome!  I reap the benefits without having to do the work.  Last week B and I lived off of yellow squash.  Fresh from the garden, yellow squash.  You jealous yet?  No, ok, fresh from the garden, FREE, yellow squash.  Better?

My parents’ garden also has an abundance of jalapenos this summer.  This has forced my mom to get creative with ways to use jalapenos, which brings me to jalapeno jelly, also know as how to get crowned Dip Queen at a party.

Pictured above is homemade, fresh from the garden, FREE, jalapeno jelly smeared over cream cheese.  So very simple, and so freaking amazing.  The sweet jelly with a hint of a peppery flavor, minus the spice, mixed with the creamy goodness of cream cheese.  Excuse me while I wipe the drool from my keyboard.

I was just introduced to this heavenly combination over the Fourth of July.  I am now hording jalapeno jelly.  I have two and a half jars left at my house and I have already put in my request for more.  (Hey Mom, I think I just gave you enough ideas to get you through two Christmases and 3 birthdays. GIVE ME JELLY!)

Now unfortunately for all my readers out there, I am stingy and not willing to share my jelly.  You will just have to take my word on how amazing it is.  If you were at the party and got to try it, well that was a weak moment and you should count your blessings.  And Traci, don’t bother trying to call my mom begging for your own.  I already warned her about you.

Mmm, jelly.  I think I know what I am having for lunch today!

Did I tell you Jenna is getting married?  Jenna is one of my dear college/sorority friends.  Meet Jenna…

Jenna is the one flirting with the camera.  Jenna loves the camera.

Anyway, Jenna is getting married.  So this weekend we had a bridal shower pool party in Jenna’s honor.  Marcie, Jenna’s bestie, threw the shin-dig together.  Have you met Marcie?

Marcie doesn’t love the camera as much as Jenna, but she is a good sport.

So Marcie threw the party for Jenna.  The girls reunited for swimming, sun, thousands of posed pictures with cheeky sorority smiles and food.

Can we talk about the food?

I love party food.  Hello tortilla rollups.  Do you want to come home with me?  No, then how about hanging out on my ass for the next 10 years?  I knew you would oblige.

Speaking of food and my ego, I was officially crowned the dip queen at this party.  Every party needs a dip right?  Ahem.

After some food and then some swimming and then some more food things got a little crazy.  The girls got a little wild.

That is the closest you will ever get to a picture of me in a swimsuit on the Internet.  Big kahonas, I do not have.  Well a big something, sure.  Ha!

And as the cocktails kept flowing the camera kept clicking.

I was the sober one at the party.  I was also the one behind the camera.  *Insert evil laugh here*

And finally, toward the end of the day, it came to this.

I am not really sure what is going on here.  I think Jenna was concerned Larissa’s heart had stopped beating.  Or maybe Jenna was just admiring Larissa’s breasts… with her ear.  I can’t explain it folks, I can just post it on the Internet.

If I possessed some mad camera skills I would have much more “wild” to offer you.  Unfortunately, when people are moving fast I just get blurry photos so the best moments were gone before I could focus.

I will leave you with the cutest chicky at the party.

Excuse me, ovaries, shut up!  I tried to take the kid home and she was having none of it.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!