Perfume.  Particularly White Diamond or something equally grandma-ish.  Particularly a White Diamond bath.  Particularly a White Diamond bath in a small confined space.

Yuck!

Yesterday, I attend a small musical production in our historic downtown theater.  Historic=small.  In this small theater, I had great (FREE) seats, but my experience was ruined when the woman in front of me was drenched head to toe in perfume.  It was disgusting.  I spent two hours trying not to breathe.  Luck for me I am fighting a cough so keeping a cough drop in my mouth the entire time seemed to help the smell. 

(Sorry if you were sitting near me and had to smell menthol the entire time.  I believe that was an improvement so you are welcome.)

I guess it was my fault for not coming prepared to the musical.  I saw Always Patsy Cline.  I should have been prepared for the over 65 crowd.  Blue hairs as far as the eye could see.  Normally I would think that was adorable, all the blue hairs attending a Sunday matinee singalong, but not when all the blue hairs are dressed in their Sunday best, including their Sunday best perfume.

I swear I draw perfume lovers to me like moth to a flame.  I know I am sensitive to smell, but I am not overly sensitive.  It doesn’t bother me when B wears cologne, or when friends are wearing perfume.  I think that is because my friends and family know their limits (my father excluded).  It never fails when I am attending some public event that requires sitting close to strangers, the person next to me or in front of me will be wearing some hideous perfume. 

My nose hairs are still burning from yesterday.

Do me a favor world.  Take it easy on the eau de toilette.  What is that saying?  A little dab will do ya.

Nothing says Monday like freezing temperatures.

So far 2009 sucks.  Maybe that is a little strong seeing as how we are only five days into the new year, but so far I am not impressed.  It all started last Monday when B and I returned from our relaxing farm vacation with his cold.  It is hard to be motivated and productive when I loved one feels like crap, yet looks so cozy in the recliner.  Of course I just had to join him, you know in case he needed me right away.

The good news is I caught up on a lot of my favorite shows.  The bad news is I spent my week to get organzied and ready for the new year catching up on my favorite shows.  Glad I really put all those new plastic storage containers to use.  I had good intentions, but it is hard to get motivated when you haven’t showered in days and you only leave the house twice in an entire week. 

I was almost relieved to go back to work today, just to get back into some sort of routine.  Funny thing though, work had other plans for me.  I thought I was coming back to a newly remodeled office.  I actually came back to no office at all and my stuff sitting in the hallway.  So much for organization and feeling rejuvenated here.

I guess I should be proud that I got all the Christmas decorations put away.  Well kind of.  The lights are still up outside and the plastic tubs filled with decor are sitting on the back patio waiting to be taken to the storage shed.

I did get the house cleaned.  Umm, kind of.  I didn’t mop the floor and while I did make a wonderful dinner last night, I was too tired to do the dishes.  Shoot.

Well at least I tired, sort of.

I am about ready to throw in the towel on this week and celebrated my new year again this weekend.  I think I get a redo seeing as how I watched the countdown from my recliner with a half awake husband beside me.

Anyone want to start over with me?  From the looks of the blog world today, no.  Who are you people with your resolutions and positive attitudes?  Share the wealth over here!

1.  Double the laundry!  When the weather gets colder I start wearing socks again, doubling the amount of socks in the laundry and the amount of socks that disappear for no reason.  Also, B starts wearing undershirts and I hate folding t-shirts.  I hang everything, but unfortunately we don’t have room in the closet to hang 40 Hanes white t-shirts.

2.  Static electricity.  Grr, as if my baby fine hair didn’t have enough problems holding any kind of style.  No matter how much hairspray I use, how much conditioner I apply or how many times I de-static my hairbrush, the second I walk outside my hair stands up.  Do you know how annoying it is to have tiny pieces of hair static clinging to your face?

3.  Defrosting the car.  I am always running late.  I can’t factor in an additional five minutes in the morning to defrost my windshield.  I am hoping now that B and I carpool this won’t be an issue.  I just have to train him to factor in five extra minutes!

4.  Being cold.  I think that one goes without saying.  It is not so much the cold that kills me, it is the bundling up for the cold that I hate.  I hate jackets.  Maybe if I had a super cute collection of winter coats I wouldn’t mind.  But right now, I hate trying to bundle up especially when the weather is still in the in between phase.  It is freezing in the morning, but warm in the afternoon (at least warm in the sun) and the cold again at night.  I think I prefer all or nothing when it starts dropping below 32 degrees.  Then I know what to expect morning, noon and night.

5.  No more naked Sundays.  Or at least until we break down and turn on the heat.  Brrr!

But I guess winter isn’t all bad.  I do love Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Winter is the season when I get to spending the most time with my family.  And of course I can’t forget my baby girl.

When winter hits, Zoey becomes a sweet, cuddly little girl.  She will sit for hours wrapped in a blanket in my lap.  She is not a fan a winter either, but I love the docile baby she becomes.  She even appreciates it when I dress her up!  Anything for added warmth I guess.

Do you hate the changing season as well?  I can’t be the only cold weather complainer.  Though I will say, between summer and winter, I would choose winter every time.  The only thing I hate more than being cold is being hot!

Let me paraphrase for those to lazy to click.  White women are deciding to vote for John McCain because he picked a woman as his running mate.  According to the article on Reuters,

Before the Democratic National Convention in late August, Obama held an 8 percentage point lead among white women voters, 50 percent to 42 percent, but after the Republican convention in early September, McCain was ahead by 12 points among white women, 53 percent to 41 percent, the poll found.

O rly?  Is that strategy actually working?  Are supposed Obama-supporting women deciding to vote Republican because a woman is on the ticket?  I guess you could assume that the 11 percent of women were undecided voters, but still, 11 percent is a huge swing. 

When Hilary Clinton was on the campaign trail, many people (women people) said they wouldn’t vote for her just because she is a woman.  In this day and age, it seems like that glass ceiling is full of cracks.*  It is only a matter of time before the whole thing crumbles.  Women hold powerful positions all over the world.  A female president or vice president will happen.  I would venture to say most people think it will happen in their lifetime. 

So can someone please explain to me why you would give up everything you think is right just because you want a woman in office?  How could a minute detail such as the gender of a person make you turn your back on everything you stand for?  Polls can be wrong and details can be foggy, but this headline is making me ill.  Find a new story folks, because I find this one insulting.

*Not my original thought.  I read this somewhere else and I loved the phrase.  Sorry to whomever I am stealing words from.

Bitch.  Mother Nature, not Jenna.

I might get to experience my first hurricane this weekend. 

That yellow arrow is pointing to the location of my mini vacation.  That yellow arrow is also pointing to the location of Jenna’s wedding.  See the white highlighted area out in the middle of the ocean?  Yeah, that is the location of Jenna’s honeymoon cruise.  Crap.

So um, Mother Nature… you are wickedly awesome and so very beautiful.  I am so humbled that you read my little ole blog.  Could you do me a favor?  Knock. It. Off.

Hugs and Kisses!  Megan.

There isn’t much I can say about the movie that hasn’t been said fifty times over on the Internet.  I loved it.  I thought it was better than the first one.  I am not ashamed to admit I was the only person in the theater to jump at one part (one teeny, tiny minor part that I don’t think scared anyone but me) and there was also one scene I had to cover my eyes.  It was so intense.

Now can someone answer me this… Who in their right mind thinks it’s ok to take a toddler to see that movie?  I am not talking about an infant who sleeps through the whole movie, though I don’t think I would do that either.  We are talking about a small child, so small they needed a booster seat to watch the movie, but not small enough that they wouldn’t understand the ideas and actions going on.  The movie was dark.  There was one scene in particular that involved a child and it was awful.  Horrifying.  Who would want their child to see that?  Do these people not read reviews before dragging their children to the theater or are they just too selfish in their own need of wanting to see the movie?  If it’s the latter, get a flipping babysitter. 

I know the movie was only rated PG-13 and language or sexual content was not an issue, but the violence.  Not gory violence, but dark, disturbing violence.  Some scenes were almost too much for me.  I can’t imagine seeing that as a child.  I learned this weekend that kids don’t fully understand the concept of make believe and reality until age seven.  These kids were under age seven.  I would hate to know what kind of dreams they had that night.

Come on people.  Be aware of what you are exposing your children to.  Movies are rated for a reason.

“It’s too small.”

“It’s too old.”

“It can’t possibly handle the job of cooling the whole house.”

Well B, congrats.  You hurt our air conditioner’s feelings.  And now it’s dead.

It’s dead and I am hot!  And whiny.  And cranky.

Also I am crampy.

So.  Um… anyone want to come fix my air conditioner?  For free?  I will share my jalapeño jelly!  (Hey look, I got the fancy tilde symbol to work.  Go me!)

B and I are probably going to board the dogs tomorrow.  I hate to do it, but the air conditioner man has four jobs lined up before us and it is just to hot in here.  I can’t imagine what it is going to feel like come noon tomorrow.  Poor kids.

Cross your fingers for a cool house tomorrow.  I am afraid it is going to be a sleepless night tonight.

I am one of those people who obsessively checks her email throughout the day.  Just be glad I don’t have a Blackberry or iPhone.  Life outside of email would cease to exist.

(Can we all agree it’s email and not e-mail or E-mail or Email?  Has the dictionary caught up to modern technology terms yet?)

Back to my complaint with email.  It is stalking me.  Why is it that the day the underwire of my favorite bra snaps in two (while wearing it!  Don’t even ask me how that happened.), Victoria’s Secret is sending me an email announcing some great sale?  How can they know that I am now down to two acceptable bras and I desperately need more. 

I am now getting emails from tons of mommy/baby retailers.  How do they know I want kids and I am actively trying?  Stalk my blog much?  Wait, that can’t be it.  I don’t actively talk about that here.  Maybe my house is bugged?

I also hate it when the day after making an online purchase, that exact same retailer will send me a coupon.  Yes, I know that is called a marketing ploy, but it still pisses me off.  I just bought something, I have no plans on making another purchase there this year.  And, on the off chance that I do decided to purchase something from that store, the coupon will be expired by then.  Thank you Southwest Airlines, Overstock.com and of course… Victoria’s Secret.

So who is email stalking you?  I guess I should be thankful it isn’t an old boyfriend or worse, AARP.

The Jonas Brothers.  Seriously?  I don’t get them.  I don’t get the “hot” appeal, I don’t get their music and I especially don’t get why they are considered talented.  Maybe I am just too old to get it.  I get Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus.  Even though I completely understand if you want to use the same argument for her as I used for the Jonas Brothers. 

Whips.  According to urbandictionary.com, Whips are cars that someone thinks will get them laid…… but wont.  This word was coined by people with so much money (a.k.a. drug dealers, mindless celebrities, rappers, ect. ect.) that it causes there brain to become pickled and thus come up with totally ignorant words and phrases to describe the simplest of things.  That about sums up my feelings.  Thank Urban Dictionary, you never disappoint.

Google Reader.  Now in Google’s defense, I have never tried Google Reader.  I just don’t get it.  Call me old school, but I prefer good old clicking on each and every blog I read.  I just think Google Reader makes it too easy to delete everything without actually reading a single blog post.  Plus, I like seeing the layout and design of other sites.  It gives me ideas.  Besides, I am not quite sure how it all works.  Do I have to have a gmail account?  Does the email have to go to the gmail account?  Can I add non-Blogger blogs to my reader?  Maybe one day I will cave and check it all out.  I might have to if I keep finding blogs I love!

The above goes for Twitter too.  Though, I have about caved and will probably join the dark side soon. 

Gossip Girl.  I really don’t get this one!  I didn’t watch it in the beginning, but finally with all the talk I caved and watched one episode.  I didn’t get it.  I love a good guilty pleasure, don’t get me wrong (hello!  I have watched both seasons of Rock of Love), but this show is just cheesy.  And stupid.  I didn’t like The O.C. either so maybe that is my problem.

“Recording an album.”  Why is that the latest and greatest thing to do in Hollywood these days?  How come everyone thinks they can sing?  Do celebrities get access to some secret club if they record an album?  Why can’t anyone be happy with the success they have?  Don’t go and ruin it with some lame album that just makes me hate you.  I am looking at you Scarlett Johansson and Vanesa Hudgens.  Don’t get me started on Paris Hilton.  Hilary Duff, you qualify for this too.  This complaint does not apply to actors/actresses who actually have talent and I love.  A.K.A., Zooey Deschanel.

Vegetarians who eat fish.  What is the difference?  Fish is meat right?  Fish is an animal right?  Why is beef and chicken bad, but fish ok?  Do you think fish are dumber than cows so it doesn’t matter?  I am pretty sure cows are stupid.  (No, offense Henry.)  If you don’t eat beef or chicken, why not just say that?  I don’t eat a lot of red meat, but I am not going around claiming to be a Chickatarians or a Sushitarian.  (Dude, how awesome would that be.  Sorry I only eat sushi.  Please plan to spend $40 on me every meal.)  If I have a Fishatarian reader, could you please explain it to me?  Why is fish the go to meat?

 Happy Friday everyone! 

KARMA IS A BITCH!

Karma is putting my cocky self back in my humble place.  In the form of, “Oh my God, I can’t move my right arm.  Ouch, ouch, crap, ouch.  Breathing is too painful, just kill me now.”

And that was the PG version (you are welcome, Mom!).

It seems I slept funny or did something funny, because as I was brushing my hair this morning, pain shot up and down my back on the right side.  I think I have a pinched nerve just under my right shoulder blade.  The only comfortable position is leaning slightly forward, shoulder hunched at an angle.  Call me Granny!  To make matters worse, my neck is starting to hurt since I have been holding it in odd positions all day in an attempt to dull the pain.  It’s not working. 

Don’t worry about me though, B is taking great care of me, as he laughs and taunts me while trying to help me into my pants.  (Is that like an oxymoron or is it just ironic?)

*This whole post was written on Advil, just wait until I get the muscle relaxers tonight!