Blech.  I hate Mondays.  I mean, I really hate Mondays.  Rarely is there anything to look forward to on a Monday.  The weekend is over and it’s nothing but the long week ahead.  Excuse me while I pout.

Things have been crazy at work recently.  When work gets crazy I tend to ignore my life outside of work.  It doesn’t help that I took work home with me every day last week.  The house is a mess and projects are being ignored.  Not good.  I am hosting a party at the house in two weeks.  Can I hire someone to scrub the house from top to bottom and finish all my projects?  Oh, while they are at it, can they unpack the rest of the boxes in the garage?  Thanks!  My mom is coming in town to help with the party.  Hmm, I wonder what I can get her to help me with.

I have been trying to advance my blog into the 21st century.  I finally caved and signed up for Twitter.  Dear Lord, why did I hold out!  I love it!  So addictive.  Plus, I feel like I am ease dropping on all the good gossip.  Much fun!  But, is there anyone out there who speaks fluent CSS who can make my Twitter update a hard title and not a hotlink?  I think it blends with the other links and I would rather it stand out as a section on its own.  Make sense?

I am also working on adding a working RSS feed.  I have always had a link on my sidebar to subscribe to a feed, but I don’t use them so I never actually checked to see if mine work.  It doesn’t.  Heh.  Thanks to Playgroupie, I think I can actually get this working!  And when I say I, I really mean B because he is the techy behind this site.  I will soon be caving to RSS.  Look at me growing up!

You may have also noticed that I added a page/tab at the top for my blogroll.  I kept finding new favorites and my list on the sidebar was either excluding favorites or out of control long.  Now I can link everyone I love.  If you want to be added, let me know.  I am all about spreading the linky love.

Be careful out there.

Oh B. How do you always manage to wrangle me into your geeky world?

For days now, B had been pestering me to watch some online musical blog.

“But it is a musical, you love musicals,” he would argue.

Finally I caved. My argument that I have a life outside of the Internet was not sticking.

I watched the ridiculous musical video blog and IT WAS HILARIOUS!

Do you like Neil Patrick Harris? Do you like Nathan Fillion? Then go here and watch Act I? Yes, it is 13 minutes of your life you will never get back, but it is worth it.

The best part, Act II comes out tomorrow (July 17). Awesome.

http://www.drhorrible.com/

Mainly Victoria’s Secret is stalking me, but via email.

I am one of those people who obsessively checks her email throughout the day.  Just be glad I don’t have a Blackberry or iPhone.  Life outside of email would cease to exist.

(Can we all agree it’s email and not e-mail or E-mail or Email?  Has the dictionary caught up to modern technology terms yet?)

Back to my complaint with email.  It is stalking me.  Why is it that the day the underwire of my favorite bra snaps in two (while wearing it!  Don’t even ask me how that happened.), Victoria’s Secret is sending me an email announcing some great sale?  How can they know that I am now down to two acceptable bras and I desperately need more. 

I am now getting emails from tons of mommy/baby retailers.  How do they know I want kids and I am actively trying?  Stalk my blog much?  Wait, that can’t be it.  I don’t actively talk about that here.  Maybe my house is bugged?

I also hate it when the day after making an online purchase, that exact same retailer will send me a coupon.  Yes, I know that is called a marketing ploy, but it still pisses me off.  I just bought something, I have no plans on making another purchase there this year.  And, on the off chance that I do decided to purchase something from that store, the coupon will be expired by then.  Thank you Southwest Airlines, Overstock.com and of course… Victoria’s Secret.

So who is email stalking you?  I guess I should be thankful it isn’t an old boyfriend or worse, AARP.

Don’t mind my small rant today.  These are just some recent things that I have come across that I just don’t get.  Feel free to add your own or defend your love if it made the list. 

The Jonas Brothers.  Seriously?  I don’t get them.  I don’t get the “hot” appeal, I don’t get their music and I especially don’t get why they are considered talented.  Maybe I am just too old to get it.  I get Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus.  Even though I completely understand if you want to use the same argument for her as I used for the Jonas Brothers. 

Whips.  According to urbandictionary.com, Whips are cars that someone thinks will get them laid…… but wont.  This word was coined by people with so much money (a.k.a. drug dealers, mindless celebrities, rappers, ect. ect.) that it causes there brain to become pickled and thus come up with totally ignorant words and phrases to describe the simplest of things.  That about sums up my feelings.  Thank Urban Dictionary, you never disappoint.

Google Reader.  Now in Google’s defense, I have never tried Google Reader.  I just don’t get it.  Call me old school, but I prefer good old clicking on each and every blog I read.  I just think Google Reader makes it too easy to delete everything without actually reading a single blog post.  Plus, I like seeing the layout and design of other sites.  It gives me ideas.  Besides, I am not quite sure how it all works.  Do I have to have a gmail account?  Does the email have to go to the gmail account?  Can I add non-Blogger blogs to my reader?  Maybe one day I will cave and check it all out.  I might have to if I keep finding blogs I love!

The above goes for Twitter too.  Though, I have about caved and will probably join the dark side soon. 

Gossip Girl.  I really don’t get this one!  I didn’t watch it in the beginning, but finally with all the talk I caved and watched one episode.  I didn’t get it.  I love a good guilty pleasure, don’t get me wrong (hello!  I have watched both seasons of Rock of Love), but this show is just cheesy.  And stupid.  I didn’t like The O.C. either so maybe that is my problem.

“Recording an album.”  Why is that the latest and greatest thing to do in Hollywood these days?  How come everyone thinks they can sing?  Do celebrities get access to some secret club if they record an album?  Why can’t anyone be happy with the success they have?  Don’t go and ruin it with some lame album that just makes me hate you.  I am looking at you Scarlett Johansson and Vanesa Hudgens.  Don’t get me started on Paris Hilton.  Hilary Duff, you qualify for this too.  This complaint does not apply to actors/actresses who actually have talent and I love.  A.K.A., Zooey Deschanel.

Vegetarians who eat fish.  What is the difference?  Fish is meat right?  Fish is an animal right?  Why is beef and chicken bad, but fish ok?  Do you think fish are dumber than cows so it doesn’t matter?  I am pretty sure cows are stupid.  (No, offense Henry.)  If you don’t eat beef or chicken, why not just say that?  I don’t eat a lot of red meat, but I am not going around claiming to be a Chickatarians or a Sushitarian.  (Dude, how awesome would that be.  Sorry I only eat sushi.  Please plan to spend $40 on me every meal.)  If I have a Fishatarian reader, could you please explain it to me?  Why is fish the go to meat?

 Happy Friday everyone! 

For someone who has never won anything in her entire life, this sure is my lucky month! I just won Sohobutterfly’s De-Lurk Yourself contest!

I rule!

Ok, so maybe this time the contest didn’t require any skill, but luck is just as important. Let me tell you, nonbloggers are really missing out on the free giveaways. I think one day I am going to have to pay this forward and come up with my own contest.

BTW, this is what I won:

Photo by sohobutterfly.

Pretty sweet, huh? I can’t wait to get it!

How come after a long, relaxing vacation, I need another vacation?

We had a great time on the farm!  I will post some pictures later.  I didn’t take tons, because, Hello.  Vacation!

Now, back to bed to nurse my massive headache.

If you haven’t cleaned your makeup brushes in awhile, I highly recommend doing this!  I cleaned all of mine last night and even washed my makeup bag.  It is like I went out and bought brand new makeup!  Embarrassing confession, I couldn’t tell you the last time I washed my brushes, if I have ever washed them.  Normally, I just buy a new brush and throw the old one away. 

Speaking of embarrassing confessions, B and I tried our dogs’ treats last night.  Is that weird?  We bought a new brand that was kosher made with no animal byproducts.  I started reading the ingredients and I decided the treats were probably better than half the crap I eat.  So I tried one, then I made B try one.  Not bad.  A little strong on the garlic chicken flavor, but honestly, you could live on them if you had too.

Titling this blog post “Completely Unrelated” has gotten that Offspring song “Keep ‘Em Separated” in my head.  Did I just do it to you too?

Today is a short work day on top of the already short work week!  Woohoo!  B and I are heading to the farm this afternoon.  Nothing but open pastures the rest of the week.  And to add a little flair to our relaxing weekend, we are going to the Tomato Festival on Saturday.  I think it is too late for me to enter the Tomato Queen Pageant, but just know that I would have knocked your socks off.  I am trying to convince B he needs to enter the salsa contest.  Tomatoes galore in Texas with no salmonella.  Awesome.

Have fun this weekend and Happy Fourth of July! 

The question of the day, brought to you by my overloaded, avoiding the obvious brain.

Let’s pretend you are the tenth caller on a radio show and they ask you where is the one place in the world you would want to travel to.   The hitch is you only have ten seconds to answer, and whatever you say is where the radio station will be sending you for a week.  No questions asked.  No changing you answer.  And, the trip would be happening right now, so weather would be real time.  Of course, you only have ten seconds to answer so you probably shouldn’t be analyzing the current state of affairs.

I asked B this question yesterday.  He immediately said Hawaii.  Good choice, B.  It’s tropical, the weather is nice and it is not on our list of quick/easy/affordable vacations.

Yeah, I could do that.

My answer was a little more exotic though.  If someone is going to send me on an all expense paid vacation for a week, I am going to choose a place I would probably never see on my own.  Something really out there.  Something like…

New Zealand!  To me, New Zealand is a make believe place.  I think the combination of the distance and the insanely beautiful landscape, in my mind, this place just isn’t real.  I would have to see it to believe it.

So what you would you choose?  You only have ten seconds to decided.  Ready… GO!

In other words, I have nothing to blog about.  I could blog about my super exciting weekend where I get to meet a fellow blogger, but I am not ready to talk about that yet.  I could blog about how yet again I was right this morning and B was wrong, but that is just natural, nothing exciting.  I could blog about the weather, but I have done that a lot lately.  I could blog about Mother’s Day, but it is still a little early for that.  Oh I know…

How about an amusing story about how I embarrassed myself (again) because I am a total klutz.  Nothing is more entertaining than throwing yourself under the bus.

Yesterday at work, I was getting ready to eat lunch at my desk and I had a full cup of ice and a warm 20 oz. soda.  You can already see where this is going.  Well on my lunch break, I often catch up on my personal email and I read a couple blogs.  I was already engrossed in another blogger’s post when I grabbed the soda bottle and opened it.  Because I was so deeply engrossed I started pouring the soda into the ice cup.  This was when I finally looked down and actually realized what was happening.  The soda bottle was overflowing and my attempts to pour it into the cup were only causing more overflow.  Of course I was wearing a light colored shirt and soda was spilling all over me… and my desk… and my chair… and floor.

 Genius.  This was all taking place while various coworkers were walking by my desk on their way out to lunch.  Trying not to further embarrass myself, I discretely began soaking up soda with my napkins.  I cleaned up my work area, but I had no napkins left for myself.  At this point, I knew what I had to do.  I had to make the walk of shame through the building to the bathroom.  And let me remind you, the lunch hour had just started.  That is prime time for the bathroom to be crowded.

After speed walking while trying to cover myself, I made it to the bathroom.  Amazingly it was empty.  I scrubbed my shirt for a few minutes, applying hand soap and water, and the soda stains began to fade.  Of course now I am left with various ridiculous wet spots all over me.  The one time I would prefer a hand dryer in the bathroom and we only had paper towels.

I sped back to my desk and hid out for the next two hours.  Luckily my afternoon meeting was canceled!  Remind me to start keeping an extra shirt at my desk.  You would think as many times as I have done this that would be standard routine.

It really makes me miss my old coworker.  The woman was queen of removing stains from my shirt.  She had lots of practice in the year we worked together!

Have I told you how old and boring I can be sometimes?  It is almost 11 p.m. on a Saturday night and I have been in bed 2 hours.  Not asleep, but in bed.  Jealous?  Of course you are.  My bed is comfy and I just put clean sheets on.  I love crisp, clean sheets.

I am sickish again.  I say ish because I am desperately fighting it.  I guess I never fully recovered from two weeks ago.  Probably because I fought/ignored it then too.  Timing sucks.  Two weeks ago we were house hunting so I was driving around town after work when I just wanted to sleep.  This time I need to be packing and getting ready for our out of town guests coming next weekend.  Hiring someone to clean the house for me sounds like the best idea ever!

B and I went to a Boston Terrier gathering at the dog park today.  I actually I went, B was forced/guilt tripped.  Teaches him to go see a movie at the new theater I have been dying to check out while I am stuck at work.  Pictures coming later.  Maybe tomorrow if I am not too busy playing the “I’m sick card.”

I need a book to read.  I use to love reading and I don’t do it near as often as I like.  I am in the mood for something funny, possibly a love story, but funny.  And fiction.  Any suggestions?