B safely escaped the house of women this morning.  I think 18 hours was about all he wanted to stick around for.  Probably for the best, I don’t think us hens have stopped clucking yet.  Clucking, cooking and shopping.  That is what we have planned this week.

I love having my mom and Memaw here.  Having someone help you in the kitchen and do the icky tasks (like deboning a whole chicken) is wonderful.  Already we have made chicken salad and the Pioneer Woman’s chicken spaghetti.  (Don’t worry B, we froze half of the chicken spaghetti so you could have some one day next week.)

We have also already hit up Target.  New spring purse for me!  I have seen so much green in the stores lately, I couldn’t resist buying a cute green purse.

Tuesday Morning is on the list for Monday morning.  Heh.  I am pretty sure there is a joke or sarcastic comment in there somewhere.  I am thinking B shouldn’t have left me with the money we made from selling the couch.  Muwhahaha.  (Um, that is my evil laugh, incase you couldn’t tell.)

Sorry we kicked you out of the house B, but I promise the fridge full of food you are coming home to will be worth it.  Plus, I am pretty sure you would rather attend computer training any day.

Oh yeah, that’s right.  I put my stellar dip making skills to use again.  And let me just tell you, I have not gotten rusty.  This time I tried out a fantastic spinach dip that I have had bookmarked for months now.  Ok fine, it was just the recipe on the Lipton Vegetable Soup mix, but every time I go to a party someone makes this dip and I love it, but I have never tried it myself.

But let’s get back to the party for one for a second.  My friend Kacee, who recently started a blog, casually mentioned that she was going to be home alone watching the Oscars Sunday night.  I took that to mean PARTY at my place!  Anyone who knows me personally, knows that I cannot have people over without a clean house.  And if I am going to clean the whole house top to bottom, I guess I should provide some kind of roughage.  And well, if I am going to buy snacks, I guess I could make some of my awesome dips to go along with it all.  Who is the Food Network woman who does Semi-homemade?  That is me.  I always need to throw something in the mix that I actually made.

And that is how the party for one got started.  I made spinach dip, tortilla roll ups and my favorite, jalapeno jelly with cream cheese.  I also had a french onion dip, salsa, queso and crab dip.  I am not sure why the hostess bug bit me, maybe I was channeling Monica from Friends, “I am always the hostess!”  Maybe it was because my mom and Memaw are coming in town and staying for FIVE days!  (I need to brush up my Martha Stewart skills before they get here!)  Or maybe I just didn’t want to cook dinner for a week.  How much spinach dip do you think one person can eat before it starts turning their skin green?

All in all, it was a great night.  And it didn’t hurt that the Oscars didn’t suck this year.  I love me some Hugh Jackman and I almost came unglued when he started busting out songs from Grease.

But not without me padding my ego a little bit.

Texas Trash is a Christmas family tradition in my family.  It is not a secret family recipe, but it might as well be because myself, my mother and my meemaw all make our own slightly different version of trash.  Every year B has told me he likes my mother’s version the best because she makes it the spiciest.  After hearing B say the same thing every year no matter how I altered my recipe I finally decided to put him to a blind taste test.  And of course since B is often wrong, I had my mom and dad judge as well.

The contestants in no particular order.

My dad went first.   He  was very  thorough, even changing his answer a few times.

Then my mom.  She analyzed each one carefully.  Really I think she was just trying to remember which one was her’s.

Finally B.  He probably had the hardest time choosing a winner.  Not that my mom and I starring him down had any effect on that.

After each bowl was emptied a winner was finally declared.

ME!

What’s that saying, third time is a charm?  I guess it took three generations to finally get it right.

And now what you have probably really been waiting for, the recipe.  Keep in mind, this is the original recipe that we all use for reference.  I double the red pepper and my mom triples it and even adds red pepper flakes.  My mom and meemaw always add pecans and I always add extra cashews.  It really all about what you like and how much heat you can handle.

Texas Trash:
1 bag pretzels
1 box each of Rice, Wheat and Corn Chex cereal
2 lbs. mixed nuts
1 lb. butter melted
1 cup wesson oil
4 T. worchestershire sauce
1/2 small box Accent
2 t. celery salt
2 T. garlic powder
1 T. pepper sauce (tabasco or similar)
2 T. all spice
Red pepper to taste (I use about a tablespoon)

Prepare sauce and pour over dry ingredients, which have been mixed thoroughly.  Mix carefully but well.  Bake 4 hours in 200 degree oven.  After mixture begins to cook (about 45 minutes to an hour), stir often, about every 15 minutes.

I make this every year and pass it out to friends, neighbors, coworker… basically anyone who will take it because it makes a ton!  A helpful hint is to buy two disposable roasting pans to cook this in.  Clean up of all that butter, oil and broken chex is a pain.

Good luck if you try to make this and enjoy!

Overall, we had a great break.  The farm is always fun to visit and for the most part relaxing.  I enjoyed getting to spend time with my family since B and I only made it to DeKalb once this year.

During the break we had lots of this,

Ugh, I am full just looking at that picture.

We also did a little of this,

And a little of this,

And we took lots of these,

(Hi, DeKalb family!)

But what we did most was this,

You probably thought I was going to say sleep, right?  No, we spent our break giving the dogs baths.  The picture above is after Servo decided to go swimming in the pond.  That was the least of my problems.

Zoey, being the adorable and friendly Boston Terrier that she is, decided to make friends with a skunk.  Unfortunately, skunks are not like all the other black and white creatures she has met before.  (I am kind of regretting taking her to so many Boston Terrier meet ups.  I am pretty sure I didn’t teach her stranger danger correctly.)  Both Zoey and Servo got sprayed by a skunk this weekend.  I think Zoey took the brunt of it, but her big brother was right there with her.  Yuck.  Everyone slept with sheets over the heads that night.  The whole house smelled awful! 

So while I was on “vacation,” I gave my dogs six baths.  We can still smell the skunk though.  Not horribly, but there is a lingering scent.  Especially in confined spaces.  We had to buy a car freshner just to make it home. 

I will make this offer again, does anyone want two slightly stinky dogs?  It is a good thing they are cute.

I have a mild obsession with fake cheese.  Wow, I feel so much better now.

Yes, I said fake cheese.  Like fake movie theater/football game cheese.  This stuff…

Yes, that is sitting inside of my refrigerator as we speak.  All six pounds and 11 ounces of it.  Kind of disgusting, right?  Even though I am the one with the mild obsession, B is actually to blame for this one.  This is what happens when I let him wander alone in Sam’s.  We end up coming home with random items like this.

Anyone want to have a fake cheese party?  I am afraid it might take ten years for two people to consume this much fake cheese.  If it takes any less than that, I will be even more afraid.

Nope.

A few weeks ago, Megan hosted a fondue party at their house. I adore fondue. Okay, well I guess adore is a strong word for something I’ve only had three times. Twice was at the fancy-pants Melting Pot. The other time was at a slightly more ghetto fondue place in Berkeley (I believe it was called Fondue Fred, which, I mean, I just should have known better) where we attempted to meet other married couples. The food and the socializing was a big FAIL. But the Melting Pot is always delicious and fills you up since you cannot stop eating! The cheese fondue and then the main course and the dessert fondues! oh my!

Once I saw how Megan put together her own at-home fondue I immediately figured that even my kitchen-challenged self can melt some cheese for dinner. Maybe then I can restore my husband’s faith in me. Just maybe.

I dug back into some old saved blog entries and saw that Green Being (aka Leslie) posted this recipe for smokey cheddar and amber ale fondue. Cheese? Good! Beer? Good! Fondue? Gooooood!

Step One: Amber Ale

Step Two: Finish off the beer

Steps Three through whatever: Have your husband prep the veggies and bread while you pour in the delicious cheese

Second to Last Step: Set up the cheese on the table with a mountain of veggies. If you don’t have a fondue pot (like us), just use a bowl and make sure you eat that cheesy goodness fast.

Final Step: Eat! The final result? Yum!

See not so hard? And it was really fast! Obviously if you are omnivores you could be creative and dip some sausage in there, but we opt for the vegetables.

What are your favorite fondue experiences?

Friday night, B and I had a nice dinner out after work.  We even ordered dessert!  Something I almost never do.  I have a salt tooth, so when I splurge I normally go for an appetizer.  Don’t worry, Friday we did both.  Talk about a food coma.  We spent the rest of the night on the couch watching movies.

Saturday we decided to get out and do some shopping.  Nothing we needed of course.  I had fun in Ulta while B wandering around Home Depot.  I am sure he will argue his shopping trip had meaning.  We then went to Hastings where B rented a video game and I bought a new book, The Time Traveler’s Wife.  I keep hearing great things about this book and so far it has not disappointed.

That night we were bored and hungry so we decided to check out the fairly new fun park down the road.  Pizza, Saturday night football on the big screen and $20 worth of tokens.  Awesome date night.  B and I spent hours dodging caffeine loaded kids.  We had a blast!  We decided to save our 387 hard earned tickets for the Ipod.  Only 99,613 more tickets to go! 

Sunday I woke up bright and early with a plan.  The weather was beautiful so I drug B to the fair.  I freaking love the fair.  B, not so much.  He humors me and goes along, but if it wasn’t for my begging and pleading, I doubt he would even miss it.  Of course he always has fun when he gets there.

By the way, spend $60 on food at the fair and you are guaranteed an instant cleanse.  Also, probably not the smartest idea to gorge on fair food the day before you have a billion blood tests.  Heh, I am not looking forward to those results.

My food intake consisted of 2 corn dogs, 1/2 curly fries, fried oreos, a few nachos, a dr. pepper and a cherry limeade.  B’s fair food was 1 corn dog, 1/2 curly fries, funnel cake, nachos, a dr. pepper and a sprite.  No wonder we spent the evening chugging pepto and fighting over the bathroom.  Easiest cleanse ever!

But now the vacation is over and it back to the grind.  I am ready to start an official countdown to our Vancouver trip.  Only one month!

B and I have a really bad habit of completely ruining our sleep cycle on the weekends.  I am really a night owl so I live for Friday and Saturday night when I don’t have to go to bed early. 

Saturday night B and I were wide awake watching a Dead Like Me marathon.  Since we ate lunch around 3 p.m., we were getting hungry again come midnight.  Have you ever seen Dead Like Me?  The characters on the show spend a lot of time in a diner.  Watching the characters eat various diner foods really set our pancake craving in to overdrive. 

So off we went to IHOP at midnight.  It’s comforting to know the midnight crowd hasn’t changed much.  There was still the table of single girls, obviously grabbing a bite after their exhausting night on the prowl.  These girls were dressed to the nine, but they obviously fell into the more responsible crowd.  It was midnight, they were sans men and their hair and makeup still looked nice.  The less responsible IHOP patron was seated next to us.   The drunk loud talker is lucky she left before B and I got too annoyed.  There was a table of students all with a laptop in tow.  And then a few various tables of Sooner fans carbing up after a full day of drinking.

I am not sure where B and I fit in.  I think our category would be married-couple-with-nothing-better-to-do-on-a-Saturday-night.  Actually I think there might have been a few couples that fit into that group.

No matter where we fit, pancakes at midnight makes a great date.  Nevermind that I was completely useless on Sunday.  I blame the syrup induced coma I fell into around 2 a.m.  Almost as bad as a hangover!

Anyone out there who wants fresh fruit and vegetables, become friends with my parents.  Apparently their number one goal in retirement is to outgrow the entire small town they live in.  Back in July they bombarded me with yellow squash.  I love yellow squash, but when I receive 10+ pounds of yellow squash I feel a little overwhelmed.  How in the world are B and I suppose to eat 10+ pounds in a week?  Sadly, we didn’t accomplish that goal so this time I am coming to the internet for help.

Internet, can you tell me how to use 10+ pounds of tomatoes by Friday?

Ok, so maybe it is not 10+ pounds, but I think it started around there.  I added tomatoes to everything I could think of over the weekend.

Anyone have a great recipe or idea to share with me?  If you say can them I will ban you from this blog.  I don’t can and apparently that is the solution to everything.

I am looking for a great recipe that uses tons of tomatoes.  The catch is it has to be fairly easy to make and it can only require ingredients that I can find.  Or spell.  Am I making this hard enough for you?

Maybe I should just say anyone who wants free homegrown tomatoes, come and get them!  I don’t think I will ever figure out what to do with these by Friday.

The curiosity is killing you isn’t it?

Oh yeah.  That’s right.  Mac and cheese with pigs in a blanket.  Totally counts as a home cooked meal, right?