How do I know?
*Cue Amy Adams singing Enchanted-style.*
The question on my mind today. Well not really how do I know, but how did you know? Well not really that either, more like did you know? Hmm, that might now be right either. Stupid past tense, present tense, noun-verb agreement. Let me back up.
For those of you who are married or engaged or with “the one,” did you know whilst in the throws of romance that you were with the one you were going to marry? I assume if you are married, you eventually figured it out, but when? Did you know all along or did you wake up one day and think, hmm, maybe this is the real deal?
In the age of civil unions, ”roommates” and divorce, some people might argue that marriage has lost its value. I am not saying I am one of those people, nor am I here to judge. B and I lived together before we got married and for us it was the right thing. At that point we already knew were our relationship was headed and it just made sense. But for others, does it make it harder to find the one. Does knowing you can leave the other person if needed make it easier to commit?
I like to think I figured out the whole boys are dumb thing in junior high. I never really wasted time with a stupid boy from that point on. Sure, I still made mistakes and got my heart broken, but for the most part my post-puberity romances were worth the time. I didn’t date much in college because again, boys were stupid. I saw the drama and immaturity friends put up with and it was ridculous. Did they really think that guy was the one? (Again, not judging, I am sure most of my friends would look back and ask themselves the same question. The throws of romance can be dangerous!)
You know that tired phrase, when you find the one, you just know. Well I whole-heartedly subscribe to that theory. So what I am wondering is, who else out there “just knew.”
For B and I, our moment of knowing is kind of fuzzy. The line between friendship and romance is blurry for us, but I can pinpoint the exact weekend everything changed. One day we were just friends who saw no point in pursuing a relationship–nothing tragic or dramatic, simply wrong place, wrong time–and the next day we were in love and talking about the rest of our lives. Our relationship literally changed course in one weekend. I love you on Friday, stay in Oklahoma on Saturday and the talk of the future and forever by Sunday. I wasn’t kidding about the blurry line. It happened pretty fast. Looking back on the early days of our time together, I guess I always knew, or at least I was hoping what I knew was correct. But really for us, once those three little words were spoken, it was all over.
I guess until you have that gut feeling yourself, you could argue every little butterfly in your stomach was saying you found the one. I admit before B there was one guy I thought would be my happily ever after, but it didn’t take me long to figure out I was blind. When B came along I knew for sure. There was no doubt in my mind this time it was real.
So what I am asking is did you know all along that you were meant to be with your husband/significant other? Did it happen at a gradual, comfortable pace? Are you still trying to figure it out? Who else out there subscribes to the “you just know” theory?















