Since my wonderful husband outed me yesterday, I guess it is time to confess. I am the Subway Bandit. If you don’t hear from me for awhile, the cops have found me and I am not rotting in jail. I hope you are happy B!
Here is the deal. One day while on my lunch break, I quickly swung through the Subway drive-thru to grab some lunch. I might have been distracted on the time because I was on my cell phone talking to my mom. Yes, I am one of those people. I go through drive-thrus while on the phone. How annoying. Anway, so after ordering and waiting for my food, the Subway employee handed me my 6″ Turkey sub and I drove away. In my defense, the woman said, “Have a nice day.” Isn’t that code for, “We are done here.”
My second mistake in this whole ordeal was telling my husband and his friends the error of my ways. I have still not lived down my stolen sandwich. Many of his friends won’t go to Subway with me. They are afraid someone will recognize my face on the wanted poster. Kidding! There is not a wanted poster. Umm, actually that is not entirely true. I never returned to the scene of the crime so there very well could be a wanted poster. Crap.
Don’t worry, my Subway karma was repaid. Not that long ago I drove through a different Subway and my diet Dr. Pepper was iced tea. Blech! I hate iced tea. Out of every beverage they could have given me, that was the worse. I had to stop at a gas station down to road to buy another drink. I couldn’t even force the tea down. Is it weird that I am from Texas and hate iced tea? That has got to be against the law or something.
So what is in your criminal record? Stolen gum? Skipped out on a check? Umm, if you have any felonies on your record maybe you shouldn’t tell me about them. Criminals scare me and I would hate it if we couldn’t be friends anymore.
Hahahahahaha.
That is too funny. Anyone distracted and in a hurry would have made the same mistake!
Have you ever driven straight to the window but forgot to place the order? There you are just looking at each other and they have no idea why you are there. Very confusing! So I just drove around and started over……now that REALLY confused them.
You should totally use the shed as your playhouse! I’m jealous!
As far as stealing things…I stole a pack of gum and a walet from a camping store when I was about 6. I don’t think I did it on purpose, I was just playing with it, walked out with my parents, and then they were like, “Hey, where’d you get that?!” Lol
Have you gone back to that Subway? Have they said anything? Too funy!
There’s a Barnes & Noble that I used to go to that had a separate Starbucks attached to it (as opposed to a B&N Cafe in the store). My friends and I would go there fairly late on the weekends and get magazines in the store to take into Starbucks (even though you had to go through the theft detectors) because we knew we’d just go put them back when we were ready to leave. One night, the B&N closed before we had a chance to put the magazines back, so technically we’re magazine bandits. (In our defense though, we DID leave them on the table in Starbucks in hopes that they would be put back on the shelf the next day).
That is hysterical! Wait…there are Subway drive-throughs? I want one of those!
[...] Do you see a theme starting here? I do. Apparently Subway and I have some issues. [...]