Since my wonderful husband outed me yesterday, I guess it is time to confess.  I am the Subway Bandit.  If you don’t hear from me for awhile, the cops have found me and I am not rotting in jail.  I hope you are happy B!

Here is the deal.  One day while on my lunch break, I quickly swung through the Subway drive-thru to grab some lunch.  I might have been distracted on the time because I was on my cell phone talking to my mom.  Yes, I am one of those people.  I go through drive-thrus while on the phone.  How annoying.  Anway, so after ordering and waiting for my food, the Subway employee handed me my 6″ Turkey sub and I drove away.  In my defense, the woman said, “Have a nice day.”  Isn’t that code for, “We are done here.”

My second mistake in this whole ordeal was telling my husband and his friends the error of my ways.  I have still not lived down my stolen sandwich.  Many of his friends won’t go to Subway with me.  They are afraid someone will recognize my face on the wanted poster.  Kidding!  There is not a wanted poster.  Umm, actually that is not entirely true.  I never returned to the scene of the crime so there very well could be a wanted poster.  Crap.

Don’t worry, my Subway karma was repaid.  Not that long ago I drove through a different Subway and my diet Dr. Pepper was iced tea.  Blech!  I hate iced tea.  Out of every beverage they could have given me, that was the worse.  I had to stop at a gas station down to road to buy another drink.  I couldn’t even force the tea down.  Is it weird that I am from Texas and hate iced tea?  That has got to be against the law or something.

So what is in your criminal record?  Stolen gum?  Skipped out on a check?  Umm, if you have any felonies on your record maybe you shouldn’t tell me about them.  Criminals scare me and I would hate it if we couldn’t be friends anymore.

One of my new favorite bloggers, Ashley, posted a challenge for people to show the funniest/weirdest things people have searched for to find your blog. 

Before I go into the crazies, I highly recommend Ashley’s blog.  First, she is an amazing photographer, second, she is very entertaining and she has an adorable bulldog puppy.  What is not to love?  Check her out.

Now, on to the good stuff.  When I first started blogging (five months ago–Can you believe it?), I was obsessed with checking my stats.  Who was clicking, how did they find me, what were my biggest hits… well that got boring fast because no one was clicking, no one found me in interesting ways and I have no big hits.  Fail.  But time has passed and Ashley reminded me how entertaining stats can be.  Here are some of my most entertaining searches:

So what are your most entertaining searches?  Any crazy stalkers reading your blog?  I think it is funny when readers come out of the woodworks.  I have friends who tell me, “Oh yeah, I saw that on your blog.”  What?!?  You did?  You mean you like me, you really like me!  Except I don’t say that out loud, but the thoughts totally run through my mind.

If anyone wants to take the bold step and delurk themselves today, post a comment.  Let me know who I need to stop talking about.  Ha!  Kidding.  Expect that worked on my mom.  She finally figured out I was calling her out for not being my biggest fan.  Now she is reading almost daily.  Shoot.  (But secretly, HI MOM!)

*The following post may or may not be directed at a certain someone.  Certainly not anyone I know in Texas.  Definitely not this person.

Hello Mario Kart for the Wii!  Did anyone else run out and buy it Sunday morning?  Umm, I actually didn’t, I was too busy sleeping.  B ran out instead.  By the time he returned, I was ready to go.  I might have even gotten a little impatient and snappy while I not so patiently waiting for B to hook up the Wii. 

I love the new Mario Kart!  For the past week or so, B and I have been practicing on the Game Cube so we would be up for the new challenge.  While the new game is very similar to all the other versions, it is different.  And better.  And kind of more challenging, but maybe I am still getting use to the Wii style. 

The game comes with a super cool Wii steering wheel, but for me, it sucked.  I am not very good at gradual turns, so trying to use a wheel that has no definite start or stop point was near impossible.  I spent the first few races cursing at the game and running into every wall.  After I calmed down, I tried the Game Cube remote.  Ah, that is better.  Something I am use to and I can control.  Finally, I found perfection simply using the Wii remote and nunchuck.  This seems to be my sweet spot.  But hey, the wheel is free when you purchase the game, so try it out.  I am sure it works for some people.  I love how you actually have options.  Smart thinking Wii gods.

Since I was productive Saturday, I treated myself to nothing on Sunday.  Nothing but naps and Mario Kart.  Isn’t that how every Sunday should be spent?  I think so.  I am pretty good and practiced now, so whenever you are ready, BRING IT ON!  The online play is kind of frustrating to set up, but once you get started it is tons of fun.  Just be sure you have your player and car picked out ahead of time.  There is only a limited amount of time to chose and I got stuck with some poor choices in the beginning.

That is the only tip I offer.  Now, Bring. It. On.

*If anyone is interested in playing Mario Kart for the Wii online, let’s trade game codes.  I love a challenge.  I said challenge, I admit I am not as good as I like to think I am. 

I absolutely love Fridays.  Even though I have to work and I normally go straight home to do nothing afterwards, I still love it.  It’s something about knowing I don’t  have to wake up early the next day.  Oh yeah, I am not a morning person.  In case you weren’t aware.  I can be down right mean and violent some mornings.  I wish some people would learn not to test me on those mornings (I am looking at you B).

Today is an extra special day though.  Today is inspection day at our new house!  It’s really the last hurdle before closing day.  Plus, it’s another excuse for us to go see the house.  This time I remembered the wide angle lens for the camera so I hope to get some good pictures of every room.  I might even post some next week.  I wish June would hurry up and get here!

My extra good mood might also be coming from my super comfy $13 outfit I am wearing.  Have you ever been to Steve and Barry’s?  B and I live right by one, but the mall it’s in is pretty sketchy and last time we went to the store it was crap.  Well, outside of the college t-shirts, it was crap.  When my family was in town earlier this month, my sister in law wanted to check out the store.  I am here to tell you, go, go now.  They have great stuff!  And cheap!  Everything is the store is $8.98 or less.  The Sarah Jessica Parker line, Bitten, is adorable.  I bought my new favorite pair of jeans for $8.  I am so going back to buy a second pair.  You can’t beat $8 jeans that are cute and comfy.  I also bought a $5 OU t-shirt.  Seeing as how I work on the campus, I can never have too many t-shirts.  If I had limitless funds, I would have come home with more than $35 worth of stuff.  Still, that $35 got me one pair of jeans and 4 shirts.  Not bad my friends, not bad.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Friday and has a great weekend planned.  I will probably be going through closets and semi-packing.  The weather promises to be nice, so I might even make it outside.

I have to brag about my special guy.  No, not B.  My Bubbie, Servo.  This guy has turned into quite the family pet.  He is as loyal as Lassie and as goofy as Marmaduke.

See, when Servo came to live with us, he was having a rough time in life.

Sure he was cute and all, but he was as sick as a dog.  (I’m so puny!)  Servo was separated from his mother way to early and I suspect he wasn’t receiving the best care when he was with his mom.  The guy was full of every worm, bacteria and parasite known to man.  Maybe I am exgerating there, but it was bad.  And messy.

But, we loved him anyway.  I mean come on, do you see how cute it was?

Cuteness aside, he was a bit of a pain in the ass at times.  Like anytime you add a pet to the family, there is an adjustment period.  B and I struggled.  Not only was Servo very, very sick, he was whiny and stubborn and needy.  Oh and a troublemaker!

And kind of dumb.

Did I mention troublemaker?  Servo would not leave poor Zoey alone!

But all that has changed now!  Actually, none of that has changed.  Well, he isn’t sick anymore, but he is still whiny, stubborn, needy, a troublemaker and kind of dumb.  We still love him though and recently, he reminded me all over again why we keep him around.

Servo hates, hates, HATES for anyone to touch his feet or ears.  Don’t even think about cutting his nails!  B and I would double-team Servo just to get his front paws trimmed.  Forget about the back nails, those dragon nails were on their own.

The other day, oh boy did we have a break through!  Servo patiently, and with very little fight, let me cut all of his nails!  Front and back!  All. by. myself.  My heart swells.  Me being the dork I am, I of course had to call my own mother and brag about my little guy.  He is a big boy now!

I am proud of you Bubbie!  Thank you for making mommy a little less crazy while she tries to deal with your antics.

Two complaints today.  I am still sick and my stomach hates me.

Remember when I said I was feeling much better.  I totally lied.  Well, not really lied, just spoke to soon.  My sinuses/allergies gave my head a break and moved into my chest.  Coughing takes the life out of me, but without coughing I feel like I have 50 pounds sitting on my chest.  Can I go back to bed?  No, of course not.  I am saving all my leave for new house related activities and besides, I have a May 2nd deadline haunting me.  Have a written any of the seven stories?  No, of course not.  Seriously, can I go back to bed?

And while I am complaining (hey, you were warned!), what the h-e-double hockey sticks is wrong with my stomach?  For the past week and randomly a few times before that, my stomach has felt like it is filled with air.  Several times throughout the day, my stomach makes this loud rumble.  Sometimes it sounds like a low note on a base guitar, sometimes it’s just your average rumbling stomach and sometimes, the most embarrassing one, it sounds like a fart.  Yep, that’s not embarrassing.  Not that I sit in a cubical all day where anyone can hear me.  It is not a fart!  I promise. 

Yesterday I was leaving a meeting when my stomach made a long, low, but still audible rumble.  What do I say?  Do I ignore it, do I acknowledge the noise?  Do I scream, “It’s not a fart”?  More importantly, how do I make it stop?  It doesn’t matter if my stomach is full, empty or just right.  The noise happens.  It is happening right now and I just ate breakfast.  I am not hungry.  I do not have to go to the bathroom.  Someone help me!  Everything else about my bathroom and eating habits remains the same.  What in the world is going on?

P.S.  I am totally proud of my title today.  Ha!  I crack myself up sometimes.
P.P.S.  My mom will probably tell me fart isn’t a word ladies say.  Sorry mom, toot just didn’t feel right and passing wind was pretentious.

 In honor of Earth Day, B and I carpooled to work today.  Ok, maybe we do that every day so it isn’t really in honor of Earth Day, but it still our green stamp!

We have also switched all our light bulbs to energy efficient light bulbs. 

And though we turned the air conditioner on yesterday, we have it programmed not to run while we are at work. 

Instead of buying bottled water.  I fill up a reusable plastic bottle.

B and I also buy select a size paper towels.  While I may still use too many paper towels, I have at least made an effort on the amount I use each time.

My next project is recycling.  At the new house I plan on signing up for the city’s recycling program.  I also plan to recycle coke cans.  Lord knows we throw enough away every day.

 What are you doing to celebrate Earth Day?  How about showering together to conserve energy?  That is one thing I may never compromise on.  I like my alone time!

Ten points to the person who knows where that quote comes from.

Finally!  I pulled the pictures from the April 12 MS Walk off my camera.  I only had 200+ pictures to go through!  I was a little snap happy with the bears.

There was a fantastic turnout for the walk.  Team Sagowitz had 16 members and a total donation of $1,260.  We rock!

Two team pictures, but I never managed to get everyone in one shot!  *Second picture courtesy of Traci.

Check out the crowd.

My mom will probably kill me for this picture, but look how adorable she is!

Eh, who am I kidding.  Mom doesn’t read my blog.  I should post more pictures of her.  Maybe she might read it then.

The monkeys were having some sort of power struggle while we were there.  It was entertaining to watch, but I was terrified we were going to see one actually get hurt.  They kept running around screaming and biting! 

This one is my favorite shot of the day.

That is the one and only time I successfully took a picture without the fence showing.  I know there is a trick on how to make the fence disappear, but I can’t remember.  I was just lucky this one time.

Well duh!

Talk about big feet!  This bear was just snoozing away by the window. 

Did I mention I love the bears?  The two grizzly bears were putting on quite a show.  I could have sat and watched them play all afternoon!  Except there wasn’t a bench and my feet were starting to hurt.

Wait for it…

SPLASH!

How cool are they.  They played forever… splashing, dunking, biting… it was so neat to watch!

Then this guy got mad and the party was over.

I totally made my brother go stick his head in the hole.  Ahh, the power I hold with a camera (and an 8 year old begging!).

Cheesy, we know.  We do this at every walk we participate in.  I should make a collage one day. 

And finally,

THE END.  *Picture courtesy of Traci.

I have so many more I would love to share, but I don’t want to over load you.  It was an awesome day!  I can’t wait to go back next year.

Maybe pot of gold is a little premature, in the least we found the rainbow.  This week has completely done a 1-80!  I am not as cranky and whiny as my last post portrayed.

B and I are both feeling much, much better.  Still a little foggy in the head and stiff in the joints, but better!  Just getting the burning needle feeling out of my throat was a world of difference.

This morning is our house inspection.  We don’t expect any major problems, but it is still nerve-racking!  Once this part is behind us it should be smooth sailing until closing day.  Well as smooth as it can be while I run around screaming, “Where did we get all this crap!”  I am a bad packer.  I would rather throw everything away than have to move it.  Pack rat would be the complete opposite of what I am.

And in other great news… B and I found a house!  We absolutely love it and we both feel our family can grow in it for many years to come.  Four bedrooms, a place for a study, large living room, a screened-in back porch and a huge backyard!  Dream!  All in a neighborhood we love and for a price we can afford.  Now we just have to make it through the offer/counter-offer game and we should be home free.  Cross all your crossables that it works out. 

“Movin’ on up, to the west side!”  I know that isn’t how the song goes, but we will be moving on up to the west side.  The west side is the swanky side in College Town, Oklahoma.

Read the title with a super sad face and an exaggerated tone.  That is how I feel right now.  And of course, right now I have a million other things I need to do, but I don’t have the energy for any of it.

I have tons of pictures from the walk at the zoo last weekend, but that is going to have to wait because I don’t have the strength to pull the pictures of the camera.  I promise there are some great ones and they are coming.  Later.

Oh and big announcement… We sold our house!!  Last weekend.  In the midst of my whole family being in town.  It was crazy, but we did it.  Now we have to find a new house.  Something that requires energy to do.  Crap.

Yesterday, I thought my checkbook had been stolen by someone who walked through our house.  I had a random check come out of my account and when I called the bank to inquire about it, they told me it was my check made out to cash and signed by me.  When did I start writing rouge checks in my sleep?  Then when the bank started reading me the name on the check, it contained none of the letters in my name.  What?  Pretty sure that is not my signature.  So I had to take off work and drive to the bank, only to find out it was a bank error.  First of all, the check should have never cleared my account.  It was another bank member’s temporary check with the wrong account number (my account number).  Second, the person I spoke to on the phone should have caught this and never told me to come fill out a fraud report and then a police report!  I was panicking and my realtor was even pulling the names of people who had been to our house.  All that worry for nothing.

After that mess I decided the day was a wash and the sore throat I was ignoring was really starting to get to me so I went home and took a nap.  B came home and I briefly woke up to eat.  I went back to sleep around 6 p.m. and woke up around 8:30 p.m.  I managed to stay awake until 10 p.m., but then I crashed for the night.  I even slept in a little this morning, waking up at 7:30 a.m.  You would think I was well rested and feeling better.  Nope, I feel worse.  I can barely talk my throat hurts so bad.  What sucks is I can’t take off any work because I have very little leave time left.  What I do have left I need to stock pile for house hunting and moving day!  Come June we have no where to live.  Yikes!

So that is my horrible week in a nut shell.  I left out how busy work is right now, and my May 2 deadline for five feature stories is looming over my head, and the house is a wreck from the weekend, but I don’t have the energy to start the 25 loads of laundry that appeared in two days.  I want my mommy.  And a blanket.  Wah!