Mini rant about to begin, you have been warned.
Why is it that my dogs will never calmly chew their bones at the same time, unless it’s when I am getting ready for bed? Lights out and all I hear is chomp, snort, slurp, chew, crunch.
Why is it that eating nothing for breakfast can get me through until lunch, but eating something for breakfast leaves me hungry an hour later?
Why is it that I only notice how scraggly my eyebrows are in the middle of the work day when there is nothing I can do about it?
Why is it that my cell phone battery is only dead when I need to make a call?
Why is it that I remember something else I needed from the grocery store when I am half way home?
Why is it that I always hear my favorite song on the radio as I am turning off the car?
Why is it that I get all my energy and great ideas (including things to blog about) when I am turning off the lights for bed?
\rant. Thanks for reading!
Isn’t it ironic? Don’t cha think?
It’s like raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain on your wedding day….
Ok, I’m done now. But you could totally write part deux of that song!
Why is it that they are called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
Why is it that they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why is it that they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why is it that they use sterile needles for lethal injections?
Why is it that the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why is it that women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is it that you don’t ever see the headline: “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
Why is it that “abbreviated” is such a long word?
Why is it that Doctors call what they do “practice”?
Why is it that lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is it that there isn’t mouse flavored cat food?
Why is it that people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why is it your Obstetrician or Gynecologist leaves the room when you get undressed - if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why is it that sheep don’t shrink when it rains?
Why is it that they call the airport “a terminal” if flying is supposedly so safe?
Why is it the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, but can’t fix a hole in a boat?
Why it is when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why is it that some people are assassinated and other murdered? How important someone has to be before they can be ‘assassinated’ rather than just plain ‘murdered’?
Why is it people say they “slept like a baby”, when babies normally wake up every two hours?
Why is it that someone believes you when you say there are four billion stars, but has to check when you say the paint is wet?
Why is it that if someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, it’s not a hostage situation?
Why is it that they deer cross the road only at those yellow road signs?